Compared to my part one and start of part two, I have noticed by doing my portfolio who sums up my aesthetics, that I have made a big approvement in my ability to produce more amount of work. The part two started with several projects in which I founded myself hard to dedicated fully because of the struggle with the amount of time I wanted to handle, and trying to do all my drawings as refined and good as possible. By stressing myself on the amount of time I had I ended up producing less that I was feeling I was.
The pair project was at first a project I was really afraid of. Being afraid to work with someone comes from the fear of feeling negative thoughts in regard someone. I have always preferred putting responsibilities on me and work by myself, because if I ever mess up I would be the only one to put the fault on. But this was before I met Hao. Being from a foreign country and not managing English language to communicate, We started talking with drawings and symbols. We went o the Nam June Paik exhibitions and where both instantly inspired by the One candle, 1988. The first day I thought that it would be a really exhausted week because of the effort to understand each other. It ended being the most pure, rich and intense exchange while working with someone I had. It was pure because we exchange so much. Using with no words, showings emotions. It reminded me of the physical performances of marina Abramovic and Ulay. Mostly their Relation in space, in 1917, that inspired our final outcome that consisted in a video of us become candles burning.
I learned so much. I cant describe it, but we connected. And this week was for me not that much about our outcomes, but more about the whole experience we had with our partner.
The Re-use project started with a big lust on working on the waste of food and our mass consumption. I was very passionate about the them I chose and was inspired by plural artist’s for it. The idea was to work against the use of plastic wrapping around fruits and vegetables that have already a natural protection.Inspired by Hal’s vision of the human being replacing the fruit and being sucked and compressed in plastic wrappings. The Francis Bacon exhibition in Paris, at the Centre George Pompidou, was one of my first exhibition were I saw so many Bacon paintings assembled together. His paintings are so powerful and there is such a strong aura coming out them. The brutally he shows in it of people ripping off their skins, bodies fusing together threw their flesh is fascinating. I also thought of how interesting it was that he didn't liked to use a model or a real persons to paint from, but was most of the time only using his memory. A lot of the paint nags where also auto representations. I can relate the physical pain that his creatures feel to the insecurity of a person with her own skin and her relationship with it. Trying to modify and sculpt it into something else whatever it takes. an unsatisfied feeling with yourself, confined in a body you don't like and that doesn't correspond to your soul.
After having my progress tutorial, I thought a lot about what I needed to improve.The tutor I had gave me the advice to free myself much more and not to be afraid to do so much mistakes. I already knew before that I was quiet perfectionists and that I will always think a lot about how I present my work and how the colors match, the composition, the shapes... Because I am a very aesthetic person and I enjoy beauty, even if every one has its own definition of what beauty is. I feel attracted to perfection but in the way I also know that imperfection is beautiful. So I started looking at how I was acting on my digital life and I saw the same way of me trying to put everything in order and make everything look perfect. It has a lot to do with idealism perception and a lot of people have told I was an idealist person. To study more the term I relooked at Plato’s Republic, being one of the first philosophers to explain Idealism. To escape flaws and human vice was automatic. I would destress myself by using the digital world.
Therefore I chose as main tool and material to combine denim with « chewing gum ».Being a medium with which I also distract myself while chewing it. It matched a lot my surrounding, finding myself in los Angeles for my Christmas break. Seeing the permanent exhibition in the broad museum, made me dive into the pop art theme. Wandering from Erwin Wurm 's Fat cars sculptures, 2001-2005, that represent distorting, inflating and bending structures of cars, to Jeff Koons reproduction balloon animals, that shine out a sweet American dream of perfection and kitsch. These contemporary artist led me to combine the organic and shape that could take the chewing, with its plastic and shinny exterior look for my final outcome by using expanding foam. The artist Oda Jaune gave me the Idea of the metarial that she had already worked with in previous sculptures and furnitures she made, exhibited during from November till summer in a gallery in Paris I went to I last visit my family there.
The denim project was by far my favorite project. I achieved to manage my time so that I produce good sketchbook material, create a story that I could connect to denim as well as linked to my digital life and an intriguing final outcome that caption the attention and resumes well all my research and ideas behind this project.
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