I have become Pygmalion sculpting, alone in his workshop, Galatea.
2 march 2020. 07:56
Today I will be seeing two exhibitions I think will relate to the theme I chosen for my last project. Because it the last one, in thought a lot about in what I wanted to dedicate myself , therefore I choose something that I am deeply passionate about and also has a connection to my development threw the year and maybe even more about my research to escape my worries and stress. During the part two, I have been working a lot and was really proecuppied with my portfolio and interviews. I want to take pleasure again in my everyday occupation, because I started loosing my childness and every day happiness. Being a theme that I have started occupying myself in my childhood ,related to my happiest moments, It will make me love and enjoy my time working on it more.
7 march 2020. 09:37
today I experimented with myself. Becoming the sculptor of myself. feeling my flesh, my consistence, my construction. my theme is about the creation of your perfect ideal. A perfect vision of your fantasies. but this could be also applicator to yourself, how you become your perfect visions. the narcissism being the pursuit of gratification from vanity or egotistic admiration of one's idealised self image and attributes. This includes self-flattery, perfectionism, and arrogance. The term originated from Greek mythology, where the young Narcissus fell in love with his own image reflected in a pool of water. Not a lot of people are actually narcist, finding always something to dislike or to envy .
19 march 2020. 11:20
drawing with fine liners were how I started drawing my fashion when I was about ten, and I have become strong at it and confident in my lines. it has become a mark of my work, and the easiest way for me to express. trying to avoid it and to use different mediums as in my sketchbook, made me feel really far away of my art and myself. to regain the happiness I was feeling creating, I decided to restart drawing each day a few sketches in this technique, to react on what is happening now but by also combine it to my project.
19 march 2020. 14:03
women are more known to do researches in general to please men and to know what they find the most attractive in them. What colors the majority is attracted to, how to make him fall in love, what shapes they are more likely to like... and the results on the internet, the most used way to find out is ridiculous:
10 Things Women Do That Attract Men Like a Magnet
The Exact 8 Things Every Man Really Wants In A Woman
What Men Want: 7 Traits Men Look For In The Lady Of Their ...
The Top 12 Qualities Men Want in a Woman - The Good Men ...
the need to touch.
we are brought to forbid ourselves to touch, we are afraid of the touch from strangers. it is know stuck in our minds.
i have become pygmalion suclpting alone in his studio Galatea.
When I first started to work on this project, I analyzed a lot the hands and the touch, without having a single thought that this need of touch will evolve so much. Covid 19 is the first pandemic that I get to be part of, I have never experienced something similar in my life and the distance created by it between me and my relatives and friends scares me more and more. Every single contact I have nowadays is via social medias, text messages and Skype. Our exchanges becomes even more electronic then it was before. And I hate the vision that our future months will pass that way. the need of human contact is strong.
2 april 2020
ive escaped. I feel free. I left London 2 days ago and find myself in friends house in the Devon countryside close to the dartmoor national park. I have always felt the best around nature, but this time it feels completely different.
The air that reaches my lungs is so much more intense and surreal. Being locked in a small apartment for more then 2 weeks wasn’t this bad until I realized how much I missed being outside. It was more the social contact that I was finding missing. Of course I keep contact with my friends and with mostly one person of them, but their touch is still present and the communication we manage to do in distance is hard but helps with this difficult time we are in.
I took my dress with me and would like to shoot it here maybe in the forest or even just in the shower in the house because of the actual lack of presence and to transmit the solitude everyone is facing right now
miss my Galatea
28 march 2020, 08:49
24 march 2020. 17:05
20.03.2020, 19:36
Today I spent the day not working too much on my sketchbook or garment, and decided to stich. there is meditative thing about stiching that helps with the nerves. Even if you have the chance to be surrounded by your loved ones while you are self isolating you still feel a certain burden on your shoulders. You might spend the day doing things to occupy yourself, like cooking, drawing creating music and watching music or exchange with the person about positive things. You can't escape the though of knowing the trauma happening around you. You can't escape one day without thinking or talking about it. I think that for the young generation it has affected more our mentally and spirit then anything else, and suddenly everything material becomes less important to my eyes then the actual well being of the people I love.
I know self reflection should be mostly about the work each one of us are creating, but today it is hard for me talk about anything else, then my feelings toward this situation.
19 march 2020, 11:30
I have sued together the zip this morning and am adding underneath the way I sew together the different patterns of hands:
18 march 2020, 18:18
today I have continued making 4 hands.
It is a long process because each hand takes at least 40 minutes drying completely. And each time it is harder to get a precise shape out , because the glue is fragile and if I let it dry too much before removing it, the fabric breaks. so the procedure tale longer because the hands are sensitive to create.
because each one are so far away from each other, the contact has become even more something we dream of. I am trying to create my dream. Most of us don't examine our urge to hold hands with our loved ones too closely. It feels nice; their hands fit nicely with ours; and we can walk along in the same direction while also being bodily connected.
“Touch is our most fundamental means of contact with the external world.”
18 march 2020. 8:53
18 march 2020. 8:13
yesterday I finish to sew the top of my final outcome. and because I have no sewing machine the process is much longer putting all the hands together. but Ido have the patience and the time. I left my sketchbook a bit behind due to some comments of the people in my surroundings. the critics made towards my pages were that " it doesn't resemble my usual style" "anyone could do this drawing " and that I " preoccupy to much and don't take the full pleasure of creating something" as I use to do before.
Therefore I asked myself, is it true? indeed I don't enjoy doing each page in a sketchbook because I started thinking what the tutors will think of it, I always remember myself for example you should add at least one collage and textures with you're drawings. And most of the time at the end of it in am not completely satisfied.
As a result, I decided to concentrated myself for a few days on the creation of my final garment and then start a new sketchbook ( still keeping the old one ) to develop the garment and do as much as drawings as possible, the way I use to do them.
17 march 2020 . 08:29
today is my first day of self isolation. and I can't realize yet how every thing around the virus escalated so quickly. Being a creative by nature, I have the luck to distract myself and always be occupied with crafting or drawing. I don't mind staying at home, because I am also enjoying my own presence compared to other people in my social environment. But I can't escape the fear and the sadness of this situation. My familly is divided everywhere. my grandparents in Germany and my other vrelatives in bulgaria.
I prepared for this period by showing all the food I needed for two or three weeks, and all the art supplies to be able to work at home. living five minutes from kings cross, I have a lot of going around me, so there will always be an option for me to still go out to buy aliments.
I am very surprised how my project, being focused on the fantasy of the perfect human being, ended up being so related this terrible period. The people starting to be isolated start using more and more their screens to distract themselves, if it is movies, series, social media or even porn. my idea was mainly to work on Agalmatophilia ( a paraphilia involving sexual attraction to a statue, doll, mannequin or other similar figurative object.) foe people staying confined alone with no family, no partner and no social events to turn themselves towards to they will face an immaterial contact either on a dating app or even just in their head.
this for example is a source I took from the Internet saying that
Coronavirus Searches Spike On Pornhub As We Self-Isolate With Porn And Toilet Paper:
Self-isolation and social distancing is the best way to flatten the curve and relieve the strain on our already discombobulated health care system. Some of us work-at-home folks are used to that kind of life, some are just getting settled in and are about to find out what distractions (including porn) exist in the work-at-home world. Some don't have that luxury and still have to go to work (so if you do eat out, tip your server well).
14 march 2020. 11:01
after having my progress tutorial I was happy hearing a good feed back on my brief and the idea of my project. Working on something that is actual for me in my life, I put a lot of pressure on myself to create the exact visions I imagined it to be.Therefore I do feel stuck a bit in my sketchbook. I am not a 100% satisfied with the order and I don't know yet how to integrate actual artists and designers work with my own pictures. Adding there work has always made me feel a stranger to my work because it becomes so un-personal. I am today further with my final outcome then with my work on my sketchbook. And I know that I need to properly work faster and not care that much about the composition of the pages and the order I dismal my 2d work